today, we were supposed to submit our c++ tutorial. however, as the question was super hard, our lecturer had decided to extend our dateline to this thursday.
i worked hard for this tutorial. way too hard. and there are some mere humans are eyeing to make full advantage of my enthusiasm. i had worked on this tutorial for three straight days. i even had to cancel my arrangement to go out with ziera just so i can finish on time. one question took me an average of 4 hours to solve it. the hardest took 12. i just went out for my usual meals. just for that. other than those hours, i was locked inside my room. ask my roomates how i was during those three days. the tension, the worry, the anxiety, plus the joy when i finally cracked the code.
all last week, i ask the majority of my coursemates, they told me they haven't finish the tutorial. but when i look of them, i see fun, joy and relaxation. they still have the time to go out and enjoy their existences. why can't i have that? maybe i'm just plain critical. the closest example is the girl who's room is just next to mine.
she is in my group for the entrepreneurship class. forced to be in my group, by the way. because her cliques ditched her. and my group was short of members. as we are keeping ourselves busy to finish up our business plan assignment, she sat back and enjoyed our struggle. she did not have a single initiative to come to us and ask us what she can do to help. she even waited for us to ask her whether she have the software we use to do the business plan installed inside her laptop. as if she is the most pampered princess in this world. and she hasn't contributed anything for our group's business plan, to date! and it just pisses me off thinking how super-excited she had been during the planning for our group's business. she wanted to do this, she wanted to that, blah blah blah.. if i didn't consider her a friend, i would never have accepted her to be in my group. which is what i will be doing from now onwards. ignore her. i'm going to stay away from her.
sambung balik cerita.
as the dateline is getting nearer, everyone in my class panicked. all in a search for the perfect answer. ask the seniors and all. i helped some, and the news spread out. i had solved those question. which i did, in a hard way. maybe they knew that, maybe they didn't. and all they had to do is to hand their pendrives into my laptop and extract the answers. and the promise to edit what i did so my lecturer wouldn't notice the similarities. i wish i could make a copyright on my assignments. but i was nice. i gave them all what they want. that's what friends do, after all. don't they?
i helped them all, answered every single queries they have on me. i don't care if i was the one hurt. as long as they're happy.
but i have a question. if someone needed my help, am i the one who have to go to them and help them out, even if i am in a place far away from where they are? am i the one who have to walk and go to them, or run if i have to, just to help them? what good will it make to me? to get the sweat and be tired? they needed my help, not that i need their help!
all this while, i thought, if you have need help, you go and seek help. not the help come running to you. was i wrong all this while?
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